need another drink. this is the easiest way
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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