8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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