quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
