I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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