One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
