Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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