i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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