Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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