well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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