remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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