the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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