I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
