the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
