at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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