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Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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