bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize