I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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