i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
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