are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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