Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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