people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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