Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
