how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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