I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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