his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
