My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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