SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Randomize
