This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
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Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?