this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.