Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
