he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
