I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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