Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
