I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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