Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
