Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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