How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
