a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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