I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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