I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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