im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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