No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
nutella sex= disaster
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize