OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
