so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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