Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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