I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
