***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
