yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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