I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
