My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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