You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
