Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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