if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
