i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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