I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
