did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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