did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
