i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Randomize
