I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
