I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
