omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
im holly from the hills drunk
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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