That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
